Describe what you value in a sample, such as the mood, the closeness or the way people look, rather than asking to recreate it. Acknowledge that people, venue, light and timing will differ. Then ask the photographer how they would pursue similar qualities at your event and what could limit it.
Almost everyone who hires a photographer has a few images in mind. A friend's wedding, a company feed, a magazine spread. It is natural to say, "I want something like this." The challenge is saying it in a way that helps rather than limits.
This guide shows how to turn samples into a useful conversation. It supports our main guide on how to choose an event photographer.
Why are exact copies not realistic?
A photograph is the result of many things coming together: the people in the frame, the light at that minute, the place, what happened a second earlier. At your event, none of these will be identical.
Even the same photographer, at the same venue, with the same couple, could not repeat the image. So asking for a copy sets up disappointment. Asking for the quality behind the image is more honest and more likely to be met.
Talk about qualities, not poses
When you look at a sample, ask yourself what you actually like. The answers usually fall into a few groups.
- Light: soft, warm, dramatic, bright, even.
- Distance: close and personal, or wide and showing the setting.
- Mood: calm, joyful, formal, playful.
- People: relaxed and natural, or arranged and polished.
- Treatment: natural colour, rich colour, muted, strong contrast.
Our guide on comparing event-photography editing styles explains treatment in more detail, and the piece on candid and directed event photography helps you decide how posed you want people to look.
Say what is different about your event
A fair conversation includes the differences. Tell the photographer where your event will not match the sample.
- "This was outdoors in daylight. Ours is in a dim hall."
- "These guests were few. We will have about 200."
- "This couple was relaxed on camera. Some of our family are shy."
This helps the photographer say honestly what is achievable and what needs a different approach. It also stops you from judging the final work against conditions it never had.
Ask how, not whether
Rather than asking "Can you do this?", ask "How would you aim for this feeling at our event?" The first question gets a yes. The second gets an explanation.
A useful answer names conditions and choices: where to stand, when to move closer, what to ask guests to do, what could limit the result. If the photographer says some part is not realistic, that is valuable. It lets you adjust expectations or explore other options.
A hypothetical example
Suppose a host sends three images: a grandmother laughing close up, a wide shot of a long family table in warm evening light, and a small group walking together outdoors.
A clear message might read: "I love how close and unforced the first one is, how the second shows the whole family together, and the sense of movement in the third. Our event is indoors at midday, with an older grandmother who tires easily. How would you approach this?"
Notice that the host names qualities, admits the difference and asks a how-question. This gives the photographer something to work with.
Using your reference images in the brief
Once you have chosen your images and notes, keep them with the rest of your brief. Our guide on using reference photographs in an event brief explains how photographers use them on the day. The photography style preference brief is a short way to organise your notes.
If your references from different photographers pull in different directions, decide which matters most before speaking to anyone further. For a related situation, see assessing a portfolio for your venue and lighting.
After the conversation
Ask the photographer to summarise in writing what they will aim for and what depends on conditions. That summary is a fair record of the conversation, not a guarantee of any single image. It is also a good basis for later conversations about the finished gallery.
When a sample shows something you do not actually want
Looking at samples can also help you rule things out. You may find that a style you assumed you liked feels too heavily edited, too posed or too distant once you study it. Say so. "I thought I wanted this, but it feels too formal for our family" is a useful sentence for a photographer to hear.
Keep a short "not for us" list beside your "like" list. Between the two, the photographer can see the range you are comfortable with, which is far more useful than a single image to copy.
Checklist
- Choose five to ten images, not fifty.
- Write one line on each describing what you like.
- Separate qualities (mood, closeness) from poses and places.
- Note which images cannot be copied, such as a famous venue.
- Ask what could make it harder at your event.
- Ask how the photographer would aim for the same feeling.
If you have images you admire, send them to us with a line about what you like in each, and we will explain what we can aim for at your event and what depends on the day.
Share the images you admireCommon questions
Is it wrong to ask for a photograph like one I saw?
No, but frame it as a quality, not a replica. Saying you like the warm, close feeling of an image helps more than asking for the same pose. Exact copies depend on the same people, place and moment, which cannot be repeated.
How many reference images should I send?
A small, focused set works best, perhaps five to ten, with a line on each. Too many images blur the message. Choose a few that show different things you value, such as light, closeness and group arrangement.
What if my references come from several photographers?
That is common. Tell the photographer which qualities come from which image, and ask whether they fit together. Sometimes they do not, and it is better to know before booking than to be surprised by the result.
What if the photographer says they cannot do something I like?
Treat it as useful information. A clear no, with a reason, is easier to plan around than a vague yes. Ask what they would offer instead and whether a different approach could give you a similar feeling.
Share the images you admire
If you have images you admire, send them to us with a line about what you like in each, and we will explain what we can aim for at your event and what depends on the day.
What happens next: You send your event details on WhatsApp. Our team reads the brief, asks what is missing, then confirms in writing whether the date, venue and coverage can be booked, with a quotation. Opening WhatsApp does not send anything, and a message is not a booking until both sides confirm.
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